"For pain is a bruising of a blessing; but it is a blessing nevertheless. It's a strange, dark companion, but a companion - if only because it has passed through God's inspecting hand. It's an unwelcome guest, but still a guest. I know that it drives me to a nearer, more intimate place of fellowship with Jesus, and so I take pain as though I were taking the left hand of God. (Better the left hand than no hand at all.) Perhaps the simple realization of something so redemptive is healing enough."
-Joni Eareckson Tada
Friday night was beautiful. The tables were lit by candles, the lights were dimmed, fresh cut daisies from the garden garnished the room, the music was lovely, and so many people who I love dearly filled that church gym with all the love and encouragement that my family needed. As I was part of the worship team, I saw the room from a different perspective while standing up front. That space was filled with people of all ages - little children, grandparents, my family, my college friends, Sarah's music students, our church family, and people I didn't even know who wanted to be a part of this event. In the middle of the evening my dear friend Cori Salchert came up front and spoke to the group of people from her heart. If you've ever met Cori you will know what I mean when I say that you see Jesus all over her. Her heart and compassion and love for others just spills out when you talk to her. Worship resumed again for a bit, and the evening closed with us all holding hands while circled around the room as we prayed for Sarah and her healing. We know that whatever God's answer will be, He will answer indeed, and He is faithful no matter what the results are.
My friends and I came back to my house afterwards for a campfire and what we usually do on hot summer nights - sit on the kitchen floor, drink tea, and talk about life. This past week I've been so overwhelmed by the amount of love that the body of Christ has shown towards my family. From friends volunteering their time to set up this blog and donation thing, to ladies setting up the church, to my old boss at the bakery donating treats, to members of my church family immediately volunteering to help with worship, to friends driving up here from my school in Chicago to show their support, I'm just overwhelmed and so incredibly thankful. There was a little 4 year old boy who dropped in the basket four quarters and a picture he colored for Sarah himself. I wanted to cry after hearing that. One of my friends from school took a wad of crumpled up bills, stuck it in an envelope and told me to give it to Sarah. Each and every person who donated gave from their heart, and I'm so incredibly humbled. There were just so many people there too and people who could not make it who joined with us in prayer pleading with God for healing. Just knowing that there are so many people who care is humbling. My community is incredible. The body of Christ here as His church is wonderful. And my God is all powerful and kind to us.
I just wanted to write this blog post to say thank you to my dear friends who are joining my family on this journey either financially, through prayer, or by simply coming along side us as friends as we are learning to give this up to God and trust Him through the pain. Wow, He is good to us.
My mamma gave me a book by Joni Eareckson Tada called A Place of Healing: Wrestling with the Mysteries of Suffering, Pain, and God's Sovereignty. As I have been reading it, its like she is writing out the questions that have been swirling in my mind for a while now. She is honest and raw and real, and she doesn't try to explain away the reasons for pain that honestly, my mind won't accept. I've tried all sorts of answers, but my mind keeps thinking of why they don't satisfy me. And I feel like finally my Jesus is bringing peace to my heart. The quote I copied at the top of this post brought me such peace. Thank You Jesus for bringing calm after a storm and for truth that isn't always easy to hear, but is truth none the less. I'm sure in the days ahead I will still question God. I'm sure I'll have more nights where I don't understand and where I just want things to be better again like when we were little girls at dance class or on the soccer field. But, that is the beautiful thing about grace and my God Who never gives up on us.
One last thing, could I be so bold as to ask for your continued prayers leading up to and during the medical treatments? Sarah and my mamma will be gone July 17th-30th. The plane tickets have been purchased and the appointments have been made. Thank You, Jesus. Please pray that the treatments would only last two weeks instead of three. Pray for strength for Sarah as her pain is growing progressively worse. And would you pray that we keep our eyes on Jesus throughout this whole thing, knowing that He's got this all under control, no matter what the outcome. Thank you all so much again for your love and support.
"The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still."
Exodus 14:14
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